"NESLABians: The Unofficial NESLAB alumni site" is the official web site of the Independent Principality of NESLABia, still proudly flying the flag upon which recline two large blue waves, two large green waves, two small blue waves, and two small green waves, adjacent and touching to each other, concave and convex in harmony, color alternating so the bellies of vertically adjacent waves touch upon each other in pleasing form, and stacked in four neatly aligned vertical rows; all resting upon the word "NESLAB" in five big blocky letters, the so-called "L" and the so-called "A" being as one device united in intimacy; upon a field of unbroken white (see the footnote) This site is resident upon the Official Server of the Unofficial Web Site located at http://www.neslabians.net. This site is protected by the elegant but mysterious woman of the night, Rhonda Bold; and Dan Foss, Refrigeration Private Eye. As such, it neither represents nor endorses the accuracy or reliability of any or all of the information, content or advertisements (collectively, the "Materials") present at this site, distributed through this site, or otherwise linked to, downloaded from, or in any way accessed from any of the services contained on this website (the "Service"). You hereby acknowledge that any reliance upon any Materials shall be at your sole risk.NESLABia is somewhat pleased that you are visiting this site, especially gratified that you have read the disclaimer in detail, and genuinely worried that you have nothing better to do. We encourage you to use the information for your personal use, store the files on your computer, and establish link with this server from your own documents using HTML "tags", dental "floss", or radio waves. You should be advised, however, of some legal limitations and restrictions that we impose to all visitors to this and related sites. We ask that you respect the rules described below.
1. This site makes extensive use of HTML "tags". It is a violation of federal law to remove these and all mattress tags, except by the consumer.
2. This web site is void where prohibited; no transfers issued until the web site comes to a complete stop; one size fits all; check here if tax deductible; text is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; we have sent the forms which seem right for you; keep away from fire or flames; no alcohol, dogs, or horses; do not bend, fold, spindle or mutilate; post office will not deliver without postage; colors may, in time, fade; edited for television; keep away from open flames; keep cool; satisfaction guaranteed; please adjust your dress before leaving; some "pages" may contain material some readers find "objectionable"; shading within a garment may occur; prerecorded for this time zone; possible penalties for early withdrawal; booths for two or more; process promptly. This web site has been formatted to fit your monitor.
3. All rights in NESLABia are reserved, all lefts are general admission. Some equipment shown is optional; if a swelling, redness, rash, or irritation develops, discontinue use. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh. Parental advisory: explicit lyrics. If defects are found, do not try to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized service center; first pull up, then pull down; falling rocks; sign here without admitting guilt. This web site should be situated away from heat sources such as radiators, heat registers, stoves, supernovas, or other appliances that produce heat.
4. This web site is financed through funds made available by the Southern Maine Passenger Rail Authority, operating authority for the Apple Valley Rail System. All times approximate; text is slightly enlarged to show detail; packaged by weight, not volume: some settling may occur during shipping; offer is valid only at participating internet sites; keep out of reach of children; no solicitors; some assembly required; please remain seated until the web site has come to a complete stop; pages were packed full, contents may have settled during mailing; allow four to six weeks for delivery; avoid contact with skin; keep away from fire or flame; apply only to affected area; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; contains no artificial colors or ingredients; return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward; keep away from pets and small children; read at your own risk. We do not accept reponsibility for any failure on your part to appreciate the humor; action figures sold separately; add toner; this disclaimer does not cover hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, and other acts of God, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, unauthorized repair, improper installation, misuse, tyypos, missspelled words, missing or altered signatures, and incidents owing to computer or disk failure, the Windows "operating system", accidental file deletions, or milk coming out of your nose due to laughing while drinking.
5. NESLABians is sold by weight, not volume; see label for sequence; if ingested, do not induce vomiting. Do not write below this line; be sure each item is properly endorsed; best if used before date on carton; do not disturb; if condition persists, consult your physician; no salt, msg, preservatives, artificial color or flavor added; ask us about our guns-for-jokes trade-in plan; price does not include taxes; employees and their families are not eligible; for a limited time only while supplies last; no purchase necessary; simulated picture; reproduction strictly prohibited except between consenting adults; not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform; do not exceed recommended dosage.
6. NESLABians contents may settle during shipment; contents under pressure, may explode if incinerated; use only in a well-ventilated area; may be too intense for some viewers; equal opportunity employer; do not annoy the alligator; sanitized for your protection. Call toll free number before digging; suggested serving; this supersedes all previous notices; any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental; use other side for additional listings; best results obtained using an unnamed mystery fluid with a specific gravity of 0.6. Subject to change without notice; no postage necessary if mailed in the United States; web site is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied.
7. Dry clean areas of NESLABians only; many suitcases look alike; no dogs; you need not be present to win; freshest if eaten before date on carton; all models are over 18 years of age; no alcohol; use only in well-ventilated area; other restrictions may apply; not recommended for children. Consumption of this web site may impair your ability to drive a car or operate machinery, and may cause health problems. Use of the "Windows" operating system may impair your ability for critical thinking, and generally supress any vestige of "joie de vive". Anchovies or jalapenos added upon request; may explode if recharged improperly; list was current at time of printing; further redistributions are only allowed unedited and in its entirety by electronic transfer (anonymous ftp, gopher, www and mail servers), storage media, and printed copy as long as this notice is included and no monetary fee is charged.
8. NESLABians note that these pages have been processed at location stamped in secret code at top of carton; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; avoid inhaling fumes or contact with mucous membranes; no other warranty expressed or implied; caveat emptor; do not stare into the laser with remaining eye. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross; ask about our specials; postage will be paid by addressee.
9. The server uses the UNIX operating system. UNIX is a registered trademark of AT&T. Your mileage may vary; your canceled check is your receipt; record additional transactions on back of previous stub; no user-serviceable parts inside; contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. We don't need no stinkin' badges. Tattoos may be permanent. This is not an offer to sell securities; this document is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute this posting and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the article or parts of it in commercial publications, or as part of any fee-based services or products.
10. NESLABians is slightly higher west of the Mississippi due to elevation differences; list at least two alternate dates; list each check separately by bank number; do not use when pregnant; drop in any mailbox; no passes accepted for this engagement; do not place near a flammable or magnetic source; breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement; user assumes full liabilities; do not use if safety seal is broken; various words in this web site may use "arbitrary quotation marks". Do not stamp. Lather, rinse, repeat. Canadian coins are welcome. Sanitized and sealed for your protection; void where prohibited by law; no substitutions are allowed; if left parked for over 10 minutes, may be towed; for office use only.
11. Certain pages of this "web site" are ribbed for your pleasure; no anchovies unless otherwise specified; slippery when wet; contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients; no money down; must be 18 to enter; this product is "meant" for educational purposes only; can reduce weight only as part of a calorie-controlled diet; for recreational use only; video surveillance in effect; place stamp here; objects in mirror may be closer than they appear; restaurant package, not for resale; for external use only; may be too intense for some viewers; penalty for private use; objects in mirror may be closer than they appear; you must be present to win; use only as directed; subject to change without notice.
12. NESLABians is not intended for off-road use; for off-road use only; use only with proper ventilation; all models over 18 years of age and may be related to employees; limit one-per-family please; do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment; opened for inspection; driver does not carry cash; resemblance to actual persons, living and/or dead, is unintentional and coincidental.
13. Item 13 has been temporarily removed from this exhibit.
14. NESLABia does not reflect the "thoughts" or opinions of NESLABians.net. The distribution is copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute content of this site and all its associated "parts" freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the parts in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific "parts" apply wherever noted; slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental, except for those parts which are actually intended to portray resemblance to actual persons, living or dead. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. CAUTION: Pantyhose are not to be used in the commission of a felony. Your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only.
15. NESLABia is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; it is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity employer; quantities are limited while supplies last; Keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; do not insert your finger into the spinning fan blade. The Director of Web Site Quality was been designated as this web site's Representative for the NESLABians Quality System. Limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately.
16. No preservatives added; safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not read if the safety seal is broken. Do not place lips over end of vacuum cleaner hose. Keep away from open flames and Alan Greenspan. Do not enter the secret passageway first. Avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with eyes and skin; do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking may be hazardous to your health.
17. The text used in the NESLABians site is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles, unless printed. No animals were used to test this web site, except for one cat who is particularly adept at locating incorrect nesting of HTML tags. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavor added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult the webmaster.
18. Disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized reading, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, macarena, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle accidents, border disputes between Maine and New Hampshire; leaky roof, broken glass, actions of inhabitants of other planets, explosion, implosion, falling rocks, mud slides, Microsoft Outlook, forest fire, expected occurrences, unexpected occurrences, expected results of expected occurrences; unexpected results of unexpected occurrences; unexpected results of expected occurrences, expected results of unexpected occurrences; or flying, floating, tunneling, wandering, or resting projectiles (which can include, but shall not be limited to, arrows, bullets, earthworms, computers running the "Windows" operating system, shot, "IT", livestock, BB's, shrapnel, anvils, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, secret weapons, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, Ray Charles, knives, stones, etc.); other restrictions may apply.
19. NESLABians constitutes an electronic publication providing information on select publicly traded companies, commonly referred to as companies using "random quotation marks". Past performance is no indication of future results. The information contained herein is not to be regarded as "advice" to make any particular "investment". Information contained in any publication within this "website" should not be construed or regarded as an "offer" or solicitation to buy or sell any product or security. Data and information is provided for informational purposes only. Please consult with a certified financial advisor before making any investment decisions. All information within this website should be independently confirmed before making an investment decision.
20. NESLABians.net exercises its sole discretion in determining to include whatever materials happen to strike the fancy of its officers or members; stimulate the thoughts of, or enliven discussions among themselves; or which otherwise informs the public about issues which are deemed to be important. We hope you appreciate the fact that it takes a lot of effort to keep this disclaimer up to date. Accordingly, statements made within any documents or any other materials on the servers used to support the NESLABians.net organization do not necessarily represent the views or opinions of the organization, any organization with which the we may be affiliated, any officers, directors, or members of any such organization(s), other than the author of the material in question. The organization provides only the electronic medium for transferring information, with the explicit understanding that each user will independently evaluate it and carefully make up his or her own mind as to its factual and/or conceptual accuracy and its usefulness in any context whatsoever. NESLABians.net treats all of the information in any of these electronic research libraries, electronic mailing lists, e-mail boxes, etc. as only allegations, opinions, fictional materials, or theoretical research discussions and makes absolutely no claims whatsoever for the factual or conceptual accuracy of any information, statement, thought, document or other material of any nature whatsoever which is contained in any of the electronic libraries or other services which exist on the server which is or might or might not be under our control. Independent individuals, organizations, or authors contributing to the documents, discussions, or other materials which are part of the NESLABians.net servers, may well be exercising any or all of their constitutional rights of petition, free speech, participation in government, singing the blues, or freedom of religion when they engage in researching, evaluating and freely discussing any matter whatsoever. Thus, any or all of these documents, discussions, statements, or other materials may be constitutionally protected opinions, allegations, satire, fiction, religious beliefs or religious opinions of these independent individuals, organizations, or authors and, as such, may or may not be factual, accurate, or correct in any manner whatsoever. Neither NESLABians.net, nor any officer, director, or member thereof, nor any affiliated organization(s) or other entities, nor any of the information providers offer any warranties, expressed or implied, concerning the performance of the NESLABians.net information network nor the completeness or accuracy of any information or other materials which might be available through the organization or through any of the electronic services which may be managed by the organization. Thus, all information or other materials which might be obtained through any facility or service which might be under the control of the organization is provided to all users of any such information or materials on a strictly "as is" basis, and any and all uses of any such information or materials for any purpose whatsoever is at the user's sole risk.
21. The following constitutes a "Safe Harbor" statement under the Private Securities Litigation Reform Act of 1995: NESLABians.net contains forward- looking statements that involve a number of risks and uncertainties. Important factors that could cause actual results to differ materially from those indicated by such forward-looking statements are set forth under the heading "Forward-Looking Statements" in the Quarterly Report on Form 10-Q. These include, but are not limited to, risks and uncertainties relating to: the need to develop new products and adapt to significant technological change, dependence on customers that operate in cyclical industries, the Coriolis Effect, general worldwide economic slowdown and related uncertainties, the effect of changes in governmental regulations, dependence on customers' capital spending policies and government funding policies, use and protection of intellectual property, retention of contingent liabilities, integration and consolidation of instrument businesses, realization of potential future savings from new sourcing initiatives, implementation of new branding strategy, buy-one-get-one-free coupons, implementation of strategies for improving internal growth, the effect of exchange rate fluctuations on international operations, and potential impairment of goodwill. We undertake no obligation to publicly update any forward-looking statement, whether as a result of old or new information, past or future events, or otherwise.
22. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to be speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.
23. THIS IS THE TRADITIONAL NEXT-TO-THE-END GRATUITOUS WICKED IMPORTANT "ALL-CAPS" PARAGRAPH AS PROVIDED BY THE WRITER WHOSE "CAPS LOCK" KEY IS STUCK. THIS WEB SITE IS PROVIDED ON AN "AS IS, WHERE IS, AND THERE IT IS" BASIS COURTESY OF "AUCTIONS BY NANCY" (WWW.AUCTIONSBYNANCY.COM) AN AUCTION SERVICE BASED IN APEX, NORTH CAROLINA; UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, OWNED BY THE SISTER OF THIS WRITER AND THUS DESERVING OF A FREE PLUG, AND NESLABians EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ANY AND ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY AND FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, WITH RESPECT TO THE SERVICE OR ANY MATERIALS AND PRODUCTS. IN NO EVENT SHALL NESLABians INCLUDING ITS EMPLOYEES, FOUNDERS, LACKEYS, DONORS, PHILANTHROPISTS, THESPIANS, AND SUPPORTERS (COLLECTIVELY THE "COMPANY") BE LIABLE FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, PUNITIVE, OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES OF ANY KIND WHATSOEVER WITH RESPECT TO THE SERVICE, THE MATERIALS AND THE PRODUCTS.
24. NESLABians encourages you to exercise caution when browsing the internet and to use caution in regards to the external sites you are led to as a result of your use of this system. The use of certain images on our site are in no way meant to imply endorsement or official association with any reality, outside business or entity including but not limited to: movie studios, special effects companies, microwave ovens, television networks; or with the individual people, businesses, and organizations which relate to them. NESLABians is not responsible for the accuracy, copyright compliance, legality or decency of material found in the external sites which the site refers to or links to; or anything else for that matter. NESLABians does however respect the intellectual property rights of others. If you believe your work has been incorporated on this site or on any outside site we link to in a way which constitutes copyright infringement notify us and we will do our best to ignore the situation or blame it on someone else.