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HatterCam's
Small Print
This Website is an "as-is" service. Neither the
Webmaster, the school district,
the
Pope, Rush Limbaugh, or God himself will be held liable if the Website does
any
of the following: Crashes, shuts down with or without warning, decides
it
doesn't like you, smokes profusely, makes that "chk-chk" noise like a
broken
washing machine, shoots sparks, causes a total nuclear holocaust,
spins
around several times and vomits pea soup, gives off "Bad Vibes",
plays
"Daisy" repeatedly, steals your boyfriend/girlfriend, falls in love
with
and begins humping your floppy disk drive, or spontaneously combusts.
Do not operate heavy machinery after using this Website. This
Website may cause
drowsiness,
dizziness, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, angina,
temporary
blindness, loss of consciousness, seizures, skin rashes, nausea,
vomiting,
the involuntary playing of Elvis songs, bloating, water retention,
and/or
spontaneous transformation into small woodland forest creatures. We
are
not responsible for the emotional damage resulting from the use of this
Website.
Repeated and prolonged usage may cause paranoia, confusion, feelings
of
despair or ebullience, or a "Bad Hair Day". This Website contains no
serviceable
parts; see licensed technician before removing cover or striking.
No
lifeguard on duty.
For children under 12, give half usual dosage. May be habit forming. No
refunds
or exchanges. Failure to follow appropriate safety precautions can
and
may result in mutilation or death. Contents under extreme pressure; do
not
puncture or incinerate this Website. Void where prohibited, state and local
taxes
may apply. Avoid contact with eyes or mucous membranes. Not responsible
for
demonic possession and/or control of users.
Read all instructions before using this Website. This service not
available
in
all areas. This Website is not a bank or insured by the FDIC. If skin rash
or
other irritation develops, discontinue usage and contact your physician
immediately.
Do not use this Website while bathing. For EXTERNAL use only. Not
responsible
for lost or misplaced mail or other personal items.
Any resemblance to any persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
No
warranties are either expressed or implied. Do not use this Website under
the
influence of mind altering drugs and/or unless those substances have
already
kicked in. For best results, time your medications properly. Not
responsible
for psychiatric care needed as a result of using this Website. In
case
of accidental ingestion, do not induce vomiting.
Not responsible for incidental or consequential damage, or for acts of
God.
It is illegal in some states to use this Website while sleeping. Temporary
insanity
may result from use/misuse of this Website. The Supreme Court has
ruled
that using this Website while performing surgery may be in violation of
federal
laws and regulations.
This disclaimer is not valid in Borneo, Outer Mongolia, on any day ending
in
"Y" of months which do not end in "R", and within five miles
from the
Lower
Volga River. Void where applicable by law. Do not fold, spindle, or
mutilate.
Try not to step on the cracks. Avoid over dusting. DO NOT IMMERSE
IN
WATER!