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Here's a little peek through the looking glass, before the PC (but not before the Mac), before the CD (but not before DC)...
My friends, a wise man (Ernie Wiseman, to be exact) once said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” which is why a large part of my health regimen consists of laughing at doctors. An article in the Times today will add years to my life, because a team of research scientists announced that a carefully controlled study involving thousands of human lab rats over a period of years revealed that a diet high in fiber and low in fat (e.g., cardboard and rice cakes for lunch) has utterly no effect on the incidence of colon cancer.
Once again the health care professionals have put Descartes before the hearse and decided that because eating meat is icky and uncool, it's got to bad for you, too.
Simple reason tells us that there are some things that really will shorten your life - cigarettes, bourbon-and-beer-back for breakfast, most of the really fun drugs, and that bungee-jump of snack food, Slim Jims. But no matter what you eat, how much you exercise, nor how many bad habits you eschew, you're worm fodder sooner or later and there's no way around it.
People say that you shouldn't worry about dying--after all you can't take it with you. Well, the reason I don't worry about dying is that, after working out the details with my lawyers Watt, Ware, Wynn and Howe, I CAN take it with me.
Sincerely,
J. William Neuschaster, President
No Budget Productions
For more messages from the President, click here: Prez
Drum roll, please...
MISS BEE'S BUSY DAY
No Budget Productions' Trophy Case
Modesty prevents us from telling you more about our AWARDS but if you really MUST know, you can always click.
MISS BEE'S BIG NIGHT
*If you don't see it soon, let us know the name of your local access channel and we'll get it on the air!
starring our very own Miss Bee
Start looking for Miss Bee's Big Night in your area!*
Also, look for them on these TV stations in your area:
• CA: City TV of Santa Monica
• CO: Denver Community TV (CDCTV)
• FL: Tampa - Time Warner Communications Public Access
• MD: Montgomery Community TV (Ch. 21 and 49) AND Prince George's Community TV
• NM: Albuquerque (Ch. 27)
• PA: DUTV (“UNQUOTE TV/Free Speech TV”) (Ch. 54) Philadelphia AND Pittsburgh Community TV
• VA: Arlington Community TV (Ch. 33)
NEW!! See some of our favorite original artwork at: The Gallery
Visit Dagmar and The Seductones!
For the latest news in twang, check out:
We at No Budget Productions are pleased to announce that our latest release, “Miss Bee's Busy Day,” has won the 1999 Best Entertainment Award (see above) from the Hometown Video Festival! To have been selected as the best in a national competition of local cable award winners is a great honor for all of us here at No Budget Productions, but we must thank the star of our show, our Wind-Up Wonder, Miss Busy Bee.
From her humble beginnings as our office receptionist, Miss Bee's gearing and synchronous movement gave her a star quality that soon became apparent even to our Producers. We know that a well-deserved national honor like this will lead to bigger and better things for our mechanical marvel as the offers for feature roles pour in from the Big Hollywood Studios. She has a high-profile, glamorous life ahead of her in the fast lane of the Entertainment Industry.
But the life of critical acclaim and big-name co-stars like R2D2 and Herbie the Love Bug can soon turn to backstabbing and short-circuiting. Those glittery Hollywood nights spent quaffing exotic lubricants and high-powered engine additives with the hot young Porches and Ferraris from the Grand Prix circuit can turn into frenzied runs to the twenty-four hour auto parts store to shoplift a can of carburetor cleaner. It's a quick trip downhill from there: the mug shot in the tabloids, the first of many trips to the Betty Ford--I mean--the Henry Ford Clinic for re-tooling and overhaul. After that, a series of desperate attempts to revive her career with bit parts in mini-series and humiliating appearances on the afternoon talk shows finally hits bottom when she becomes the spokeswind-up for a muffler repair chain.
Don't do it, Miss Bee! Those Hollywood phonies see you as just a heap of scrap metal to be melted down as soon as your Q ratings fall below twenty. Stay at No Budget Productions where the phonies really care about you! We even have a new script for you, “Miss Bee's Big Night,” ready to go into production as soon as you give the word.
You've got my private number, Doll; call me anytime, day or night, except between 10 and 10:20 when I'm getting my aroma therapy from Eva and Bridget.
Sincerely,
J. William Neuschaster, President
No Budget Productions
No Budget Productions
Congratulations on winning MCT's
Best Field Production of 1998!!
If you'd like to see our videos in your area, let us know by writing to us at either nobudget@aol.com OR, at our other address, nobudpro@concentric.net
My friends, what's in a name? Here at No Budget Productions, it's more than a philosophy, more than an identity, it's a fact of life. Everything we have done has been done with a minimum of expense and a maximum of enthusiasm. For example, the first Seductones' video was made for less than five hundred dollars. Including pizza.
How do we do it? We start with a unique team of creative people who have absolutely refused to grow up, the kind who'd rather make TV than watch TV. Then we add technical people, the serious kind who'd rather work with artists and dreamers than plotters and schemers. Then, we need volunteers, the kind of people who say, “OK,” when you ask, “Ya wanna be in a video?”
Now the Internet has provided us with a new medium that's perfect for an operation like ours. Thanks for coming, don't be a stranger.
J. William Neuschaster, President
For more comments from
No Budget Productions
Mr. Neuschaster
please refer to:
We welcome your comments and e-mail. Write to us at nobudget@aol.com
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