***WHIMSICALWILL.COM***
"Demented News" in Real Audio!
Whimsical Will's
"Demented News" Reports in RealAudio!
UPDATED 3/14/10
Complete "Demented News" reports from the Dr. Demento Show are STREAMING in RealAudio!
Here's an archive of requested favorites and recent reports.
THIS WEEK'S "DEMENTED NEWS" REPORT IS HERE!
(Scroll to bottom of page)
- THE MOST REQUESTED "DEMENTED NEWS"!
LISTEN!
- Warning! It's a Whimsical Will tirade!!
- CAN'T POO-POO THIS "DEMENTED NEWS"
LISTEN!
- The oh-so-demented tale of dueling talking poo!
- "DEMENTED NEWS" REQUEST
LISTEN!
- This one's for Roadrunner of San Diego, CA: Paramount sues author over book, "How to Have a Romantic Relationship with a 'Star Trek' Fan"; Klingon language lessons revisted; and a 9-year-old Whimsical Will voices the role of "Young Spock"!
"DEMENTED NEWS" FAVORITE!
LISTEN!
Not one, but TWO (count 'em!) stories of exploding toilets and news of extended-life underwear with THREE (count 'em!) leg holes!
"DEMENTED NEWS" REQUEST!
LISTEN!
Dementoid Matt requested this report from April, 1995, which features a young Whimsical Will as "Christopher Robin"!
"DEMENTED NEWS" REQUEST!
LISTEN!
Dementoid Deven Combs requested this report from 1998 on the changing value of pi!
REQUEST -- "ROCK RAP"
LISTEN!
Okay, so it's not a "Demented News" report, but long-time Dementoid Benn Allen was kind enough to remember my "Rock Rap" from 1987 (which tells a twisted tale using more than 200 names of rock artists), so I thought I'd upload it here!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 3/15/09
LISTEN!
3/15/09: Kennedy Center pipe organ making embarrassing noises; casket auctions on the rise; Arthur Fonzarelli arrested!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 3/22/09
LISTEN!
3/22/09: Man refuses to remove clothes at Australian nudist party, causes riot; Liverpool motorist stopped for driving while laughing!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 3/29/09
LISTEN!
3/29/09: Quilter's Home magazine features nudity; Conch Shell Blowing Contest!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 4/5/09
LISTEN!
4/5/09: Cell phone obsession; text messages from plants; boob job special!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 4/12/09
LISTEN!
4/12/09: Studying the smells of outer space with Popsicle Phil; odor-free underwear on the International Space Station!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 4/19/09
LISTEN!
4/19/09: Colorado man has nail lodged in face for 30 years, doesn't know it; German man tries to shoplift 68 tubes of toothpaste in his clothing!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 4/26/09
LISTEN!
4/26/09: Croatian gardener attacked by drunken tennis player over noisy lawnmower; Welsh farmers' Extreme Sheepherding!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 5/3/09
LISTEN!
5/3/09: Prenatal MP3 player wraps around expectant mother's stomach; New Jersey thief steals frozen food!
[The 5/10/09 "Demented News" was pre-empted to make way for my 24th-annual summer movie adventure, "Keep On Trekkin'"!]
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 5/17/09
LISTEN!
5/17/09: Thieves steal all the road signs in a Pennsylvania township; How to speak Klingon!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 5/24/09
LISTEN!
5/24/09: China orders government workers to smoke; vandal covered in pudding and spray paint!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 5/31/09
LISTEN!
5/31/09: Tractor doubles as drum machine; robber uses concealed banana!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 6/7/09
LISTEN!
6/7/09: 250-pound, German prostitute shakes apartment building; Dallas couple find Cheeto that looks like Jesus!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 6/14/09
LISTEN!
6/14/09: Ohio inmates grow their own food; assault claim filed over unwanted high-five!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 6/21/09
LISTEN!
6/21/09: Vatican Radio goes commercial; Kentucky pastor invites congregation to bring guns to church!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 6/28/09
LISTEN!
6/28/09: Fox accused of stealing 100+ pairs of shoes from German town; Florida driver fails breathalyzer test and says car did not know what it was doing!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 7/5/09
LISTEN!
7/5/09: In a report from 1994, I try out my Safe and Insane fireworks!
[No 7/12/09 "Demented News" report]
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 7/19/09
LISTEN!
7/19/09: Chicago taxi driver uses spray deodorant to disarm passenger; Oregon woman arrested over rabbit obsession!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 7/26/09
LISTEN!
7/26/09: Remembering the bikini with UV alarm; women in bikinis score low on math tests!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 8/2/09
LISTEN!
8/2/09: NY woman posts to Twitter during bank hold-up; NH man charged 23 quadrillion dollars for pack of cigarettes!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 8/9/09
LISTEN!
8/9/09: Russian teen knocks out grandma with frying pan; UK man claims he has allergy to Wi-Fi waves!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 8/16/09
LISTEN!
8/16/09: IL man has eyewear fetish, steals glasses; PA woman plans to marry carnival ride!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 8/23/09
LISTEN!
8/23/09: Mouse builds nest inside ATM; "Naked News Korea" shuts down!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 8/30/09
LISTEN!
8/30/09: Mermaid sighting in Israel; Nigerian man plans to marry pillow!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 9/6/09
LISTEN!
9/6/09: Goodyear closes "World of Rubber" exhibit; pizza parlor employee uses beer can to thwart would-be robbers!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 9/13/09
LISTEN!
9/13/09: Florida woman attacks smoker with air freshener; "Star Trek" aftershave and perfume on sale!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 9/20/09
LISTEN!
9/20/09: Naked Bike Ride in Philly; bank robber asks teller for kiss!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 9/27/09
LISTEN!
9/27/09: MN man arrested for swearing in public; South African company says carrier pigeon delivers data faster than Internet provider!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 10/4/09
LISTEN!
10/4/09: Kangaroo terrorizes Australian offices; naked Austrian woman frightens construction workers!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 10/11/09
LISTEN!
10/11/09: TX man cited for gardening in the nude; OH teen uses Bible pages as rolling paper!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 10/18/09
LISTEN!
10/18/09: Lamp runs on human blood; how to avoid a zombie attack!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 10/25/09
LISTEN!
10/25/09: Halloween-themed wedding in PA with vampire bride and groom; lesson in trick-or-treating etiquette with a visit to Dr. Demento's house!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 11/1/09
LISTEN!
11/1/09: Museum of decorated toilet seats in TX; police respond to WY woman frightened by cardboard cut-out of John Wayne!
[No 11/8/09 "Demented News" report]
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 11/15/09
LISTEN!
11/15/09: Iowa man charged with assault after broom fight with maid; Idaho team banned from rink after playing "strip hockey"!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 11/22/09
LISTEN!
11/22/09: South Korea woman passes driving test after 950 attempts; Boston parking valet uses umbrella to ward off would-be thief!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 11/29/09
LISTEN!
11/29/09: FL man arrested for repeatedly calling 911 looking for sex; holiday "pornaments" back on store shelves!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 12/6/09
LISTEN!
12/6/09: L.A. Customs officials seize drug paraphernalia labeled "Christmas ornaments"; FL man charged with assault with Christmas tree!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 12/13/09
LISTEN!
12/13/09: Norway's massive gingerbread town vandalized; flu bug has Hungarian Santas avoiding contact with children!
[No 12/20/09 or 12/27/09 "Demented News" report]
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 1/3/10
LISTEN!
1/3/10: "Bad Breath Bandit" robbing banks in Detroit; MA woman sees Jesus on her iron!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 1/10/10
LISTEN!
1/10/10: MI man walks into restaurant with knife in chest, orders coffee; MA mom calls police on videogame-playing son!
[No 1/17/10 "Demented News" report]
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 1/24/10
LISTEN!
1/24/10: Iowa man gives wife manure message for birthday; SC man steals and "massages" slab of meat!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 1/31/10
LISTEN!
1/31/10: Moscow highway billboards display pornography; NY subway passengers ride in their underwear!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 2/7/10
LISTEN!
2/7/10: MI woman bites off part of sister's nose; 200 bales of hay stolen in PA!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 2/14/10
LISTEN!
2/14/10: Woman finds oven mitt in toast; German TV producers face prosecution over death of goldfish!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 2/21/10
LISTEN!
2/21/10: Indonesian boy arrested after attacking classmate with bee; Welsh shopkeeper warned by authorities over jokes!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 2/28/10
LISTEN!
2/28/10: UK man fined for blowing nose in traffic; MA man shoplifts 75 bottles of body lotion down pants!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 3/7/10
LISTEN!
3/7/10: UK theme park offers dried insects as snacks; FL man robs three banks, calls it a loan!
THIS WEEK'S "DEMENTED NEWS" -- 3/14/10
LISTEN!
3/14/10: Alaskan dentist rebuilds eagle's beak; demented St. Patty's day hold-up!
- BACK TO THE MAIN INDEX!