Wednesday, 3 September
Stickleback,
I believe those of us who were alive at the time were last together in the same room, despite Brattlesby's futile efforts to escape and Snegny's interminable fidgeting, last Thursday week, at the club, as you say, just for a can of pasta.
Your remembrances of things past created many suppressed memories for yours truly as well, I must say! That we would all be caught up in similar plots, well, how often do classmates, many of whom were never even friends, let alone acqaintances, remain in such enforced contact as we! However, one of you paragraphs gave me pause: in which you accused hapless Benchmarck as being dull as the Ecuadorean day is long. My hackles arose no short length at that, let me tell you! And at my age, that is quite the sensation, my friend. For you to besmirch poor Benchmarck's good name! (And by the by, how is old Besmirch? Still under the weather? Damn that occluded front of his which prevented his cavorting with us in the Top Hat's "Secret" Room! And where is our friend Cavort these days? I have not seen him since he was carried from exams.) And then Benchmarck (who was standing behind me, moving his lips as is his wont as he read your letter over my shoulder) pointed out that you were not describing him, but rather Benchmark, a fellow whose dullness was so extraordinary that it was only Benchmarck's repeated prodding that dredged up the barest recollection of him. As I recall, he was my first roomate at the old school, until Mormon moved in without Benchmark moving out. And that is the extent of my recollection.
Benchmarck is the current Professor of Alternate History at old Felmly! Can you conceive? The moment they realize he is on staff will be one to remember, eh! The sawn-off branches fall not far from the tree.
However, your confusion over Benchmarck's identity throws my understanding of your understanding of the events of the 17th or so into a dim red light. Remind me to beat the truth out of Pgeggle at the Blind Leading the Blind dinner... perhaps we can get a jump on the next wake.
Yours,
Proxy Factotum
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