Tuesday, 6 May

DeMondo:

Your suggestions re the bat jerky were very much appreciated. Alas the Travelmaster has become history long since... where there's smoke there's fire eh -- suffice to say that young Blord, normally so dependable, grew a mite overzealous in his stoking.

I ordered forthwith a new Airstream as a replacement (I realize it lacks the personality of the vintage Travelmaster, but who can afford the prices commanded by today's collectible house trailer market? Anyway the events which were to follow rendered deliberation moot), but the paperwork was apparently misrouted, and I received a brand spanking new Airbus in its stead. Easily fifty times the size and with the same futuristic lines as the Airstream, it makes a dandy smokehouse... and a nice house as well. A structure so large has the advantage that when at night I leave the ventilation system and the landing gear housings open to the airs, the bats have a delightful tendency to fly in all on their own. All I need do is seal the forward hold during the day, and the little dears practically smoke themselves! I believe I shall solve the volume problem thusly, especially with the use of Titsman's old Titsman's New Process Semi-Automatic Bat-Presser, long an invention in search of a purpose.

Have you heard any word of late from old Shrimpley DeVane? I last received out of the blue a check from him in the amount of $3.85, unsigned, and dated simply "April". This was last November. Was he or was he not supposed to return from his Antarctic retreat by Xmas?

Yours,

Prescott Whitney, Private Eye