Friday, 26 June
Dear Mr. Happy Lion:
You and your civic organizations! Procrastinators indeed. And what are the other groups of do-gooders to which you belong? The Muckabouts? The Petty Meddlers? The Time Wasters? The Weirdbodies? And each with their own separate hall where you plot your little community projects. Is there room for any buildings other than these bizarre lairs in your town? And when a parade is held celebrating the years ago defeat of some heinous enemy and all these chowderheads (apologies, that should read Chowderheads, another of your silly cabals) go marching down the boulevard, with which group do you make your appearance? And does each have its own ridiculous hat? How ever do you keep them separate in your mind? Have you ever shown up at a meeting of the Obfuscators wearing the boater intended for use with the Pessimists, whom all sport pith helmets? I wonder...
Frankly, I wholly distrust anyone who believes he is acting for the common good on a purely voluntary basis. I suspect the motives you see. What is the real agenda of these can-do types with their lapel pins and earnest faces? We can only but guess...
As you know, apart from the Club, where membership is bestowed by birthright, I have not been a joiner throughout my years. I learned my lessons on that count early, having a poor time of it in the Boy Scouts. I have yet to tie a knot since, not that I couldn’t mind you, but the feel of hemp against my hands brings back such bitter and disturbing memories. “Nature camp” indeed! And me having joined primarily to wear the uniform and here we spent an entire week with not even the slightest hint of clo -- well, that’s a pain from yesterday’s joints and I choose not to rub it at this time.
Of course, my opinion of all your little civic organizations would change drastically to the positive if I were shown evidence that prostitutes were engaged for entertainment purposes during the course of the meetings.
Yours in the holy spirit,
Mr. Cuddle Bear
PS: I believe it is Luther who works for me, or perhaps both of us. The other fellow has a higher voice and may not work at all.
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